“Are we normal, mom?” WOW! What a question to be asked by your 10-year-old. Are we normal? Of course we are normal honey….(as I struggle to hold my face still and try to think what “normal” really means in 2016). I am not sure there is a normal these days as much as there is an “average”.
Here is what I have learned about “normal” and shared with other mothers, single and married:
- Do NOT believe everything you see. I used to think that the mom’s with perfect hair and make up had it all together and did not have a care in the world. I thought they had perfect children and lived a great life. Oh, please…that is what she wants you to see. I know you are rolling your eyes and saying, but, but,but….! Trust me when I say it BECAUSE…I AM THAT MOM THAT APPEARS to have perfect hair and make up. I have a short sassy cut and wear it straight most of the time because it is easy and who has time to plug-in a curling iron? I was blessed with nice skin and I carry make up in my purse. Most of the time I put it on in the car so when I step out of the vehicle with my kid it looks as if I have it together. But in reality my house is a mess, I am 5 loads of laundry behind, I yelled at my kid to get him into the car, we were late…..so we ate in the car, which is a mess AND we have forgotten something. HA, HA so much for perfection and the ‘Normal” perfect mom!
- Your children are ok. I used to think that because I was raising a son alone he would be damaged goods and would never be able to compete with friends that have two parents. Please, my kids gets more attention than children in two parent homes. I cannot pawn my child off on dad when I am busy because it is all me in the home so I am forced to give my child attention. And where ever we go, we know someone! At church and school the other dads are quick to ask if Mitchell can join their son at the batting cages, to sleep over, to eat dinner or just to hang out. So my kiddo gets plenty of love and attention from me and from other fathers. As far as raising a man, NO I cannot do that. I have left that to my sons mentors, his male family members and his God Father. I just make sure to get him where he needs to be so he can spend time with the important men in his life. However, I do not need to be a man to raise a man who loves Jesus. His prayer life is MINE to pour into. I groom him in that area. He has done well and has asked Jesus into his heart. As for a man’s help with that I would like to thank Jesus, His Father and the Holy Spirit. So much for the normal kid.
- You HAVE to take care of yourself first. I used to think that putting myself first was selfish and absurd. WOW, I could not have been MORE WRONG! If I do not take care of myself and put myself first, when I drop dead from exhaustion who will care for my kid? You better believe I am not going to let all my hard work go to waste letting his father do a half ass job. So I take care of myself. I exercise, well we are on a 30 day ab challenge right now and we are working on squats to improve his catchers stance. When baseball is over we will go back to walking several times a week to stay fit. We eat loads of fruits and veggies and we try to maintain a low-level of carbs but OMG we love pasta! So much for thinking that caring for yourself first isn’t normal and its wrong!
- No stage is easier than the next but we do excel in certain areas. So I will admit to anyone that will listen that I am not a “baby” person. I love toddlers and teenagers. I am learning to appreciate elementary because that is where my son is. The baby stage seems so unbelievably hard to me because it all a guessing game and each baby is so different. When I was in that stage I tried super hard not to compare my son to other children. Thankfully I was surrounded by mothers with girls and boys at the time. Each stage has been different. I have not been in the teenage stage with my son but I have tons of experience with teens and I am NOT dreading that phase of my son’s life. No stage is easier or harder, it is ALL just different. So much for thinking it gets easier as they age, lol.
I need to go back and ask my son his idea of normal. I am pretty sure it is not what I assumed it would be or even close to what society considers normal these days. Whatever his answer, I will constantly tell him he is normal as well as the fact that we are also unique! So, so much for all that “Normal” stuff!
What does your normal look like?