I started dating again and after a few mishaps and disasters I have fallen back on some great advice. I had a friend years ago, who was a model. Katie was tall, drop dead gorgeous, had a voice that could melt butter and a killer smile! Everywhere we went, men and women would fall all over themselves to get to her. You might think I am exaggerating but it was true. People would literally drop everything to stare at her walk by. It was freaky at first, but I got used to the stares. After going out with her several times, I asked her the secret to getting all the attention? Her words to me were mind-blowing, but so true. We were in her car driving to dinner and she leans over to me at a red-light and….”oh honey, you gotta give ’em what they want and they will always, always come back for more”.
I know what your first thought is…. (shame on you)! But seriously, get rid of that thought! THAT is not what she meant. People that want to be with you crave your attention. GIVE IT TO THEM. Here are 7 ways she taught me how to be an unforgettable date:
- Smile – a smile can light up a room more than any lighting fixture you could turn on. Smile at your date. Its free, use it! SMILE, PLEASE, SMILE!
- Compliment something about his face – give a compliment and BE specific! Don’t just say, “you look nice’. Step it up a notch and say. “That shirt is nice, it sets off your eyes. Blue is your color!”
- Laugh at all his jokes, even the corny ones, but not a fake laugh – you’ll need to practice this, this kind of laugh takes some skill, so practice on co-workers and friends. Start laughing at stuff that is not really as funny. You can even ask a close friend to help. But you need to practice. Trust me on this. Do not try this without practice, it can go very wrong. I am telling you from personal experience, I am, trust me. Make the laugh light and airy. No snorting or howling please, at least not on a date.
- Stare into his eyes – Anyone who knows me, knows I have a thing for eyes. Yes, I do. I love blue, green and hazel eyes! ALL the colors mine are not. To stare into someone’s eyes is one of the most romantic things you can do as a human being. Start slowly, glance at him in a shy way. Work your way up into a 5 to 10 second stare. I cannot tell you the power a stare holds. If you like someone and enjoy their company, gazing into their eyes will become natural. Trust me, he will ask for another date if you do what I have outlined so far.
- Hang on his every word – if you have children, this will not be so hard. You have already learned to listen to conversations about things you were not totally interested in. No offense to the children, but parents do not want to discuss Legos, Pokémon, mean girls, or clothing for hours on end. On a date, let your date go on and on about what they like, not for hours but give him some time. Make your date feel comfortable. It is crucial in securing the next date. No one wants to be with someone they do not feel safe with. Let a man talk about work, no matter what he does, let him talk because work. It is part of his identity. Men identify with work. If you like him, let him talk. Encourage it. Enjoy it. Smile. Ask questions. You will be pleasantly surprised.
- Touch his shoulder or knee – if you are sitting face to face this is easy to do and will seem very natural. In the middle of a conversation, just lightly touch his knee, lean in and touch it. This is not meant to be a slap so be careful. It is a very light touch. If you are sitting or standing side by side the shoulder touch may be easier. In conversation, just touch his arm or shoulder. This also depends on your height difference. If he towers over you, obviously you cannot touch his shoulder while you are standing. Please use some common sense. If he seems to like it, do it one more time, but no more than three times during the date. Your goal is to leave him feeling comfortable and wanting more of your attention.
- Thank him before the date is over – Parents teach us to say “please” and “thank you” as children because it is a sign of having manners and its polite! Thank you is still polite and very appreciated. You should always say thank you to someone for what they do. Men don’t always get a thank you and they are the ones that ask for the date, pay for the date, and either plan it or help plan it. A “thank you” tells him ALL his efforts are appreciated. And who does not want to be appreciated? We all do! so say it! Trust me, he will notice.
I have not needed my friends advice in many years but now that I am dating again, it comes in handy and it works! I love to see people dating and happy or dating that leads to marriage. I have had at least 5 friends in the last year go from single to married. I want to be next! Stay tuned for more dating advice. In the mean time, tell me what is working for you.